Standards of Conduct for Mediation

The Model Standards of Conduct for Mediators are the fundamental ethical guidelines for persons mediating in all practice contexts. The Standards were drafted by the American Arbitration Association, the American Bar Association’s Section of Dispute Resolution, and the Association for Conflict Resolution.

The preamble of the Standards indicate they serve three primary goals: to guide the conduct of mediators, to inform the mediating parties, and to promote public confidence in mediation as a process for resolving disputes.

As I have indicated in the past, mediation is a process in which an impartial third party facilitates communication and negotiation and promotes voluntary decision making by the parties to the dispute. Mediation serves various purposes, including providing the opportunity for parties to define and clarify issues, understand different perspectives, identify interests, explore and assess possible solutions, and reach mutually satisfactory agreements, when desired.
There are the following ten Standards: Self-determination, Impartiality, Conflicts of Interest, Competence. Confidentiality, Quality of the Process, Advertising and Solicitation, Standard Viii. Fees and Other Charges, and Advancement of Mediation Practice. To read the complete Standards of Conduct go to:

http://www.acrnet.org/about/initiatives/QualityAssurance/standards-conduct.htm

As always, you can post a comment about this blog, Divorce Mediation, or Tucson Arizona by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website or participate in our Presidential poll located below the directions. WM 5/29/08

Tarahumara

We just returned from a wonderful trip on the Chihuahua Pacifico Railroad through the Cooper Canyon region of Mexico. As always, I got a baseball cap with railroad’s acronym Chepe on the crest of the hat. One of the most interesting parts of the trip was observing the Tarahumara Indians. They actually call themselves the Raramuri which means the Runners and they are some of the best runners in the world. Running up and down the canyons is an important part of their culture as well as a means of transportation and communication. I loved their colorful dress. They are a very primitive group of about 70,000 Indians. Many live in caves for part of the year. Until recently, they survived as subsistence farmers but more recently have earned money by selling crafts to tourists and accepting payment for allowing their picture to be taken. There also seems to be more begging. Many seemed to have no emotional affect. I wonder if modern civilization had done more harm than good. On the other hand, they are able to survive without modern conveniences. I don’t think I could do the same. As always, I asked about their marriage and divorce practices. They have very little tribal structure but when a couple wants to get married, the prospective husband, asks the leader for permission. If the leader says yes, the couple lives together and is considered married. Divorce is easy and frequent. If a couple wants to get divorce, they just separate and the wife usually keeps most property and the children. There does not seem to be a great need for mediation! As always, you can post a comment about this blog, Divorce Mediation, or Tucson Arizona by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website or participate in our Presidential poll located below the directions. WM 5/26/08

Golden Retriever and Mediation

Molly was our golden retriever for 14 years. She would sometimes come with me to divorce mediation sessions. She was a great help both as an ice breaker and as an indicator of tension levels. If the couple got angry, she would get upset. I now work with Rescue a Golden of Arizona transporting gold retrievers to a new and better home. It is a very rewarding experience. In addition I get to use my mediation skills not only with new and old owners but with parties who want to have more than one dog. As always, you can post a comment about this blog, Divorce Mediation, or Tucson Arizona by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website or participate in our Presidential poll located below the directions. WM 5/23/08

Mediation or Meditation

Mediation or Meditation, the difference in the words is only the letter T. You would be amazed how often the words are confused. A few years ago by yellow page proof came back as the Center for Divorce Meditation! I have heard of mediators being listed under meditation in the yellow pages. Perhaps there is a reason the words are confused or perhaps people who are getting divorced should meditate. As always, you can post a comment about this blog, Divorce Mediation, or Tucson Arizona by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website or participate in our Presidential poll located below the directions. WM 5/20/08

Nevda Governor's Divorce and Marital Home

One of the big initial issues in any divorce is who stays in the marital home. In fact in many cases once that issue is resolved, the couple is not in any rush to get divorced! The issue took an interesting twist when the governor of Nevada, Jim Gibbon, when the governor left the official residence and his Wife stayed. Something similar happened when Rudy Giuliani got divorced. It does not seem to make any difference if you are a governor or a mayor. See the entire story at
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/03/us/03nevada.html?ex=1367553600&en=5c485df436e0d651&ei=5124&partner=permalink&exprod=permalink. As always, you can post a comment about this blog, Divorce Mediation, or Tucson Arizona by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website or participate in our Presidential poll located below the directions. WM 5/16/08

Robin Williams Collaborative Divorce

Celebrity divorces are important because they can set the trend for the average couple. It was significant that Robin Williams is getting a collaborative divorce. See one of the many articles at http://www.etonline.com/news/2008/05/61388/index.html People reports that the papers, which were filed in San Francisco, include the following agreement: "We will strive to be honest, cooperative and respectful as we work in this process to achieve the future well being of our families. We commit ourselves to the collaborative law process and agree to seek a positive way to resolve our differences justly and equitably." As always, you can post a comment about this blog, Divorce Mediation, or Tucson Arizona by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website or participate in our Presidential poll located below the directions. WM 5/14/08

Best Divorce Mediators

Every year I get a publication listing the Best Attorneys from somewhere. I am always bothered that there is not a similar list for Divorce Mediators. I have decided to do my own list. I am going to email the Advance Pratitioner Members of each state and ask them to nominate the Best Divorce Mediators in their state. If I get at least two votes, I will include the Divorce Mediator on my list. Let me know if you have any nominees. As always, you can post a comment about this blog, Divorce Mediation, or Tucson Arizona by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website or participate in our Presidential poll located below the directions. WM 5/9/08

China, Marriage, and Automobiles

China has always fascinated me. I took Chinese history in college and we plan to travel to China someday. I love automobiles and marriage is part of my profession. It was a triple hit, China, marriage and automobiles.Thus, an article in the Thursday, April 24, 2008, New York Times by Keith Bradsher entitled "With First Car, a New Life in China - Attracting New Respect and a Good Marriage," caught my eye. I You can see the entire article at
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/24/business/worldbusiness/24firstcar.html?ex=1366776000&en=77638e6bb77d4628&ei=5124&partner=permalink&exprod=permalink. According to Bradsher there is an explosive growth in first-time car buyers in China which is (you should excuse the pun) the driving force behind the record car sales in China. One of the reasons cited for new car buyers is the belief by parents that without a car their sons wouldn’t be able to find wives. One new wife said that "young women in China consider a man to be marriage material only if he can take them on dates in a car."

Automobiles have always been an integral part of the courting ritual in the United States so it should not come as a surprise that automobiles are also important in China. This is certainly my memory of high school.

As always, you can post a comment about this blog, Divorce Mediation, or Tucson Arizona by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website or participate in our Presidential poll located below the directions. WM 5/7/08

Softball and Divorce

One of the advantages of living in a University town like Tucson, is that you can take advantage of all the university has to offer. We enjoy attending cultural and sport events. We recently added our first University of Arizona Women’s Softball game. The team was national champions last year and we expected an exciting game. There certainly was excitement in the air as we walked to our seats with the night lights on, music playing, the smell of hotdogs, and the announcer introducing the teams. It is always a thrill to hear the national anthem at sports events. You may be asking what does all this have to do with Divorce Mediation. I always see metaphors for mediation or the application of a sport to mediation. We learned two new things at the game. First the mercy rule and second slap hitting.

The mercy rule, also well known by the slightly less polite term slaughter rule (or, less commonly, knockout rule and skunk rule), brings a sports event to an early end when one team has a very large and presumably insurmountable lead over the other team. The mercy rule is most common in games such as baseball or softball, where there is no game clock and play could theoretically continue forever, although it is also used in sports such as hockey, football, and soccer. It made me wonder if there should be a mercy rule in divorce. Should the divorce stop when one party exceeds a certain limit of money?

We were at first confused when we saw a hitter running before she tried to hit the ball. We asked a fellow spectator what it was all about and she said it was slap hitting. She explained that slap hitting is an offensive strategy designed to place stress on the defense and provide more opportunities for our offense to score runs. The slap hitter must be concerned with getting on base anyway she can. Thus, on base percentage is much more important to her than batting average is. Using this technique, the batter first begins by running in the batter’s box and then contacts the ball. Should divorce avoid strategies which are designed to put more stress on the other party and concentrate on problem solving?

As always, you can post a comment about this blog, Divorce Mediation, or Tucson Arizona by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website or participate in our Presidential poll located below the directions. WM 5/5/08

Mediation in Cuba

A few years ago we were fortunate to take a tour of Cuba for mediators. It was organized by Vicky Ryder of New York. Cuba is a beautiful country. We met with the head of mediation for the University of Havana. I was given a book about mediation in Cuba but my high school Spanish is not good enough to read the book! Mediation is universal. We also met with the Havana Bar Association. Divorce in Cuba is not as complicated as here. There are no issues dealing with health care or housing and there is a strong presumption that the Mother retains custody of the children. Another highlight of the trip was visiting Ernest Hemingway’s home. One of the great results of the case was that I met some wonderful mediators from all over the country who have been become good friends including Jennifer Kresge.

As always, you can post a comment about this blog, Divorce Mediation, or Tucson Arizona by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website or participate in our Presidential poll located below the directions. WM 5/2/08