Sunday, January 27, 2008

In the News - What to Ask When It's Over and the Divorce Season

I always watch for articles about divorce when I am reading the newspaper. I recently read an excellent article in the New York Times by Vincent M. Mallozzzi, First Wives World Is Their Oyster, Pearls Included (click on the title to the article to read it).

One of the comments in the article discusses the "divorce season." The quoted attorney speaks of a spike in calls to the attorney's office in January. I have always notice more calls in January and September. I attribute the January calls to the fact that couples do not want to get a divorce during the holiday season from Thanksgiving to New Years. They don't want to spoil the holidays for their family. On the other hand the pressure of the anticipated divorce and the holidays create a pent up demand. Thus many people call as soon as they can after the holidays. The September spike may be a result of the children going back to school. I have also noticed more telephone calls when the weather is bad and at the end of the day. I am not sure why when the weather is bad it causes more telephone calls. Any ideas? I assume the end of the day telephone calls are a result of procrastination. Many people also make the telephone call when they know we are gone for the day. The calls after hours are becomes they really don't want to reach us.

The article also lists the following questions that arise after a divorce. I would be interested any comments you have about them.

1. Am I emotionally strong enough to move on? If not how do I become stronger?
2. What are you looking for, now that you're single again?
3. My spouse cheated on me, so why do I feel like a failure because my marriage didn't work?
4. Before dating again, shouldn't I first try to get comfortable with being alone?
5. Will I stay in touch with my ex's friends and family?
6. If children are involved, how do I cope when they are under another roof?
7. How soon will I start dating again? If there are children, how will I explain it to them?
8. In terms of my ex, is it ever a good idea to get physically or emotionally involved again?
9. What is one thing I want to do now that I would never have done when I was married?
10. In addition to lines like "Forget about him" and "Move on with your life," what divorce cliches are you most tired of hearing?
WM 1/27/08

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