Divorce, Voice Mail, and Email

When mediating a case, I advise clients not to problem solve (I don’t like to use the word negotiate) by email or voice mail. I have always felt that problem solving requires instantaneous feed back and response or it becomes a monologue and not a dialogue. Email is acceptable for transmitting or confirming information such as pick up times for children. Along this line this line, I was fascinated to see the front page article in Saturday, August 2, 2008, New Times by Matt Richtel. entitled, "Don’t Want to Talk About it? New Service Sells Missed Calls," which discusses a new technology that is as bad for divorce as email.
See the entire article at
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/02/us/02sly.html?ex=1375416000&en=559c26cce622f2df&ei=5124&partner=permalink&exprod=permalink. The article discusses a new service called Slydial. which allows callers to dial a mobile telephone but avoid an unwanted conversation or as the article say "unwanted intimacy" because the incoming call goes undetected by the receiver and goes directly to the receivers voice mail. The name Slydial says it all. The article quotes James Katz, head of the Center for Mobile Communications Studies at Rutgers University as saying, "You pretend to be communicating, when you are actually stifling communications," This is my very point. Couples think they are communicating when they are actually doing the reverse. I must now advise clients, not only not to email but not to leave voice mail messages. As always, you can post any comment about this blog, Divorce Mediation, or Tucson Arizona by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website or participate in our Presidential poll located below the directions. WM 8/17/08