Flying, Priority Standby, Divorce and Mediation

On a recent trip, we wanted to take an earlier fight because the airline had changed our flight and we were concerned that we might miss our connecting flight.  There were three other flights before our original flight.  We went to the airline counter and explained our situation to the airline’s representative.  She said there was no room on the flights but she could put us on “priority standby.”  Whoever heard of “priority standby?”  A little Google research indicates there are very complicated rules on how the airlines determine standby priority.  For example the following is Delta Airlines standby priorities

1. Confirmed first class passengers for whom there is no available seat in the first class cabin, who is also an Executive Partner or a SkyMiles member with elite status, including Million Miler.
2.  Confirmed first class passengers who is not a SkyMiles member with elite status, for whom there is no available seat in the first class cabin.
3. Confirmed business class passengers for whom there is no available seat in the business class cabin, who is also an Executive Partner or a SkyMiles member with elite status, including Million Miler.
4. Confirmed business class passengers who is not a SkyMiles member with elite status, for whom there is no available seat in the business class cabin.
5. Confirmed crew member or mechanic without a seat assignment.6. Confirmed economy class passengers for whom there is no available seat in the economy class cabin, who is also an Executive Partner  or a SkyMiles member with elite status, including Million Miler.
7. Confirmed economy class passengers who is not a SkyMiles member with elite status, for whom there is no available seat in the economy class cabin.
10. Confirmed passengers who is willing to give up his or her seat.
11. Diamond Medallion on discount fare confirmed in economy class and desiring upgrade.
12. Platinum Medallion on discount fare confirmed in economy class and desiring upgrade.
13. Gold Medallion on discount fare confirmed in economy class and desiring upgrade.
14. Silver Medallion on discount fare confirmed in economy class and desiring upgrade.
15. Non-elite SkyMiles member on discount fare confirmed in economy class and desiring upgrade – also alliance partner upgrade.
16. Paid standby upgrades.17. Death / emergency.18. Inconvenienced or mishandled by Delta, Medallion status passengers.19. Inconvenienced or mishandled by Delta, all other passengers.20. Inconvenienced or mishandled by another airline who paid Delta the full Y fare.
21. Confirmed passengers desiring a same-day flight change.
22. Airline employees, Buddy Pass travelers, etc.

General rules when all else is equal (> = have priority over) :
– SkyMiles members > non-SkyMiles members
– Medallion members > non-elite members in this order: Delta 360, DM, PM, GM, MM, FO (with the last two perhaps switching order in some instances)
– Full-fare passengers (F,J,Y,B) > discount fare passengers (all other fares, more or less)
– Order of booking class priority:
– – First class: F, P, A, G
– – Business class: J, C, D, I, Z
– – Premium economy: W
– – Economy: Y, B, M, S, H, Q, K, L, U, T, X, V (E is not eligible)
– – Award travel: R, O, N
– IRROPS passengers on connecting legs > IRROPS passengers on first leg of trip
– Older timestamps > newer timestamps (refers to time and date of ticketing, either original or re-issue).
– Booking class E is not eligible for standby
– Rebooked tickets are issued in the same fare class as the original ticket (if you move up to fare class Y on the rebooked ticket, you got lucky)

Not sure which of the categories we fit in or if we were just lucky but we were initially numbers 2 and 3 on the list and eventually numbers 1 and 2. We did not get on the first two flights and were about to give up when we got on the third flight.  Three other observations.  When they got to the last boarding groups before we received standby, the passengers were told they would have to check their carryon bags at no cost.  We did not want to do this because we thought our luggage would get lost.  I asked if we could bring our carryon luggage on the plane and they said of course and there was room for our luggage in the overhead bins. Lots of passengers get to the gate minutes before the flight takes off.  A little unrelated but people still will spend an inordinate amount of time trying to stuff there oversized luggage in the overhead bin while they are blocking other passengers from getting to their seats and are delaying the flight.  So what does all of this have to do with divorce and mediation?  Just some life lessons and things you should think about in mediation and divorce.  Never hurts to ask.  Rules are not always flowed or maybe flexible.  Sometimes you are lucky.  Do your actions affect others?
    As always, you can post any comment about this blog or Divorce Mediation, or just Mediation by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website. Learn more about mediation at http://www.center-divorce-mediation.com/ CDM (299) 12/15/15

Yogi Berra, Divorce and Mediation

The Yankees are in first place in the American League East.  It reminds me of the Yankees of my youth.  I know more players names from those days than now.  Mickey Mantle, Whitey Ford, Don Larsen, Phil Rizzuto, and of course Yogi Berra.
He is known more today, however, for his “yogi-isms” – a word that has been commonly used to describe the many humorous quotations for which he is responsible.

Here are some well-known examples:

1.“When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”2.“It ain’t over ’til it’s over.”3.“It’s like deja vu all over again.”4.“A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.”5.“You can observe a lot just by watching.”6.“We made too many wrong mistakes.”7.“I really didn’t say everything I said.”8.“Ninety percent of this game is half mental.”9.“The future ain’t what it used to be.”10.“If you don’t know where you’re going, you will wind up somewhere else.”11.“If the world were perfect, it wouldn’t be.”12.“It’s tough to make predictions, especially about the future.”

Many of these apply to divorce and mediation.

As always, you can post any comment about this blog or Divorce Mediation, or just Mediation by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website. Learn more about mediation at http://www.center-divorce-mediation.com/ CDM (296) 9/15/15

Interfaith Marriages, Divorce and Mediation

An April 2013 piece in the New York Times Opinionator by Stanley Fish titled “Marrying Out of the Faith” caught my eye.  See full article at http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/04/01/marrying-out-of-the-faith/?smid=pl-share  He discusses his own experiences and Naomi Schaefer Riley’s new book, “Til Faith Do Us Part:  How Interfaith Marriage is Transforming America.”  I realized that we have done divorce mediation for close to 30 years and I can’t remember one case that a divorce was caused by an interfaith marriage.  Even though it has not come up directly, it may aggravate the situation.  Also, I have found that religion is often more an emotional than a spiritual issue.  Many people who are not religious seem to become more so when they get married.  This is not to say the issue of religion did not come up.   Ironically, the issue usually comes up in a positive way.  In determining a parenting plan for holidays, it was easier.  If it was a Jewish and Christian marriage, there was no fight over who parented the children on Christmas, Chanukah, Easter, Passover, Yom Kippur, and other religious holidays.  We once were special masters in case where the Jewish Father suggested parenting his children on the Jewish Holiday but when the Mother agreed he argued against his original suggestion.  I have some funny anecdotal stories on this issue.  In college a girl refused to date me because she thought I was not Jewish but never asked if I was.  I am.  I knew good friends of ours were an interfaith couple.  When I met them, I thought the Husband was Jewish and the wife was Christian.  It turned out that it was the other way around.  I am not a big fan of conversion for the sake of marriage.  If there is a conversion it should be because the person believes.   One may be able to convert but I don’t think one can convert the emotional and cultural experiences of a child.   I have seen many conversions.  Often I have been surprised that the person was not born Jewish.  Others seems like it was purely cosmetic.   Often the person who converted is more religious than their spouse.   I found his discussions of inter political marriages also very interesting.  He indicates that people worry more about an inter political marriage than an inter faith marriage.  I have noticed that most couples agree politically.  I think it is more an unconscious compatibility issue. 

As always, you can post any comment about this blog or Divorce Mediation, or just Mediation by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website. Learn more about mediation at http://www.center-divorce-mediation.com/ CDM (278) 8/31/13