Divorce, Marriage, and the Presidents Part 1

Very often my varied interests and activities overlap. This time the overlap was divorce and the Presidents.   I recently was thinking how Newt Gingrich’s divorces did not prevent him from running, the issue made over Adlai Stevenson’s divorce, that Reagan’s divorce put the issue to rest.  It got me thinking of doing a DTV show on Divorce Marriage and the Presidents.  I thought if I was doing the research for that I might as well do a blog too.  I thought of possible guests – Doris Kearns Goodwin was  a little of reach for me, Jim Nintzel and Andrea Kelly from Arizona Media were too busy and Jeff Spiers of American Political Biography and a source for many of my Presidential biographies did not want to be a guest let alone use Skype.  Then I realized I was a good guest and asked Vicki Evans, my friend at Access Tucson to interview me.  It turns out the Vicki is very knowledgeable about Presidents and it should be a great show.  If I was doing a Divorce TV show, I should also do a blog and so here I am blogging.   It has been very interesting researching the topic.  I realized it would be too long for one blog so this will me multiple blogs focus on one or more Presidents.  This is as much the story of the First Ladies as the President.  The wife’s role has evolved as the role of women in society has changes.   Attitude toward divorce has changed.  Many couples including Presidents stayed in unhappy marriages. Many Presidents were widowers and remarried.  The stigma of a divorced candidate changed with Ronald Reagan as a Catholic candidate changed with Kennedy.       It really has not been a significant issue with Newt Gingrich but he has other problems.  I had forgotten until I started my research that Presidential candidates Bob Dole and John Kerry were divorced.  Another question which creeps in is the sexual orientation of Presidents.  This was the case with Lincoln and with the first President I will discuss – James Buchanan.

Buchanan was the only President who remained a bachelor his entire term.  Grover Cleveland was a bachelor when elected but married in office.   Buchanan was our 15^th President and served before Lincoln.  As a quick aside Buchanan was also alleged to have eyes of different colors.  I turned to Philip Shriver Klein’s definitive biography of Buchanan.  It turns out that attorney Buchanan was actually engaged to Ann Coleman, the daughter of a very wealthy Father who was one of America’s first millionaires.  Buchanan was more concerned with business than Ann and she was afraid he was only marrying her for her money.  Buchanan was away on business and when he returned he visited Mrs. William Jenkins and her pretty and charming sister, Miss Grace Hubley.  Ann was indignant that Buchanan should visit anyone and especially a women before seeing her and released Buchanan from the engagement. Ann went to Philadelphia where she suddenly died.  Buchanan was looked upon as a murderer.  An article in the May 19, 1901 New York Times elaborates.  It says, “Throughout the rest of his life Buchanan is not known to reveal to anybody the circumstances of this romantic tragedy.  He would only say that it had changed his hopes and plans, and had led him more deeply than ever into politics as a distraction from his grief.”  Being a bachelor did not hurt Buchanan from getting elected but he was helped more by being Ambassador to England and was not caught up in the crossfire of sectional politics that dominated the country.  He was also the last of the so called “doughface” Presidents who in the years leading up to the Civil War were Northerners who favored the Southern position in political disputes.  No unmarried candidate has run since Stevenson.  I am not sure if it would make a difference.  Time will tell.              

As always, you can post any comment about this blog or Divorce Mediation, or just Mediation by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website. Learn more about mediation at http://www.center-divorce-mediation.com  WM (249) 3/25/12

If Divorce Was a Martial Art What Would It Be?

There are 100’s if not 1000’s of types of martial arts. Divorce is often seen as combat.  After recently reading about martial arts, I wondered if different  divorce processes were  martial arts, what would they be?   I will only discuss the martial arts that are most popular in American  culture – judo, jutizu, tae kawando, karate, and kung fu.  I don’t totally rely on Wikepedia but it is often a good place to start and to get a summary.  Wikepedia  says: 

JUDO (meaning "gentle way") is a modern martial art, combat sport and Olympic sport created in Japan in 1882. Its most prominent feature is its competitive element, where the object is to either throw or takedown one's opponent to the ground, immobilize or otherwise subdue one's opponent with a grappling maneuver, or force an opponent to submit by joint locking or by executing a strangle hold or choke.

KARATE  is a martial art developed in Okinawa, Japan. It was developed partially from indigenous fighting methods called te (literally "hand") and from Chinese kenpō. Karate is a striking art using punching, kicking, knee and elbow strikes, and open-handed techniques such as knife-hands. Grappling, locks, restraints, throws, and vital point strikes are taught in some styles.

JUJUTSU is a Japanese martial art and a method of close combat for defeating an armed and armored opponent in which one uses no weapon, or only a short weapon.  In some countries the word jujutsu is spelt in English as jujitsu, ju-jitsu, or Japanese jiu-jitsu. "Jū" can be translated to mean "gentle, supple, flexible, pliable, or yielding." "Jutsu" can be translated to mean "art" or "technique" and represents manipulating the opponent's force against himself rather than confronting it with one's own force.  Jujutsu developed among the samurai of feudal Japan as a method for defeating an armed and armored opponent in which one uses no weapon, or only a short weapon.  Because striking against an armored opponent proved ineffective, practitioners learned that the most efficient methods for neutralizing an enemy took the form of pins, joint locks, and throws. These techniques were developed around the principle of using an attacker's energy against him, rather than directly opposing it.

TAEKWONDO  is a Korean martial art. In Korean, tae  means "to strike or break with foot"; kwon  means "to strike or break with fist"; and do  means "way", "method", or "path". Thus, taekwondo may be loosely translated as "the way of the hand and the foot." It combines combat techniques, self-defense, sport, exercise, and in some cases meditation and philosophy. The art in general emphasizes kicks thrown from a mobile stance, employing the leg's greater reach and power (compared to the arm). Taekwondo training generally includes a system of blocks, kicks, punches, and open-handed strikes and may also include various take-downs or sweeps, throws, and joint locks. Some taekwondo instructors also incorporate the use of pressure points, known as jiapsul, as well as grabbing self-defense techniques borrowed from other martial arts, such as hapkido and judo.

KUNG FU, gongfu, or gung fu  is a Chinese term referring to any study, learning, or practice that requires patience, energy, and time to complete, often used in the West to refer to Chinese martial arts. In its original meaning, kung fu can refer to any skill achieved through hard work and practice, not necessarily martial. Originally, to practice kung fu did not just mean to practice Chinese martial arts. Instead, it referred to the process of one's training - the strengthening of the body and the mind, the learning and the perfection of one's skills - rather than to what was being trained. It refers to excellence achieved through long practice in any endeavor.  In the colloquial, you can say that a person's kung fu is good in cooking, or that someone has kung fu in calligraphy; saying that a person possesses kung fu in an area implies skill in that area, which they have worked hard to develop. Someone with "bad kung fu" simply has not put enough time and effort into training, or seems to lack the motivation to do so.

Let me try to summarize the philosophy of each.

JUDO (meaning "gentle way") is a modern martial art, combat sport and Olympic sport created in Japan in 1882. Its most prominent feature is its competitive element, where the object is to either throw or takedown one's opponent to the ground, immobilize or otherwise subdue one's opponent with a grappling maneuver, or force an opponent to submit by joint locking or by executing a strangle hold or choke.

KARATE  is a martial art developed in Okinawa, Japan. It was developed partially from indigenous fighting methods called te (literally "hand") and from Chinese kenpō. Karate is a striking art using punching, kicking, knee and elbow strikes, and open-handed techniques such as knife-hands. Grappling, locks, restraints, throws, and vital point strikes are taught in some styles.

JUJUTSU is a Japanese martial art and a method of close combat for defeating an armed and armored opponent in which one uses no weapon, or only a short weapon.  These techniques were developed around the principle of using an attacker's energy against him, rather than directly opposing it.

TAEKWONDO  is a Korean martial art and the national sport of South Korea. In Korean, tae  means "to strike or break with foot"; kwon  means "to strike or break with fist"; and do  means "way", "method", or "path". Thus, taekwondo may be loosely translated as "the way of the hand and the foot." It combines combat techniques, self-defense, sport, exercise, and in some cases meditation and philosophy.

KUNG FU, gongfu, or gung fu  is a Chinese term referring to any study, learning, or practice that requires patience, energy, and time to complete, often used in the West to refer to Chinese martial arts. In its original meaning, kung fu can refer to any skill achieved through hard work and practice, not necessarily martial. In Chinese, Gōngfu is a compound of two words, combining (gōng) meaning "work", "achievement", or "merit", and  which translates into "man", so that a literal rendering would be "achievement of man". Its connotation is that of an accomplishment arrived at by great effort of time and energy. In Mandarin, when two "first tone" words such as gōng and fū are combined, the second word often takes a neutral tone, in this case forming gōngfu. Originally, to practice kung fu did not just mean to practice Chinese martial arts. Instead, it referred to the process of one's training - the strengthening of the body and the mind, the learning and the perfection of one's skills - rather than to what was being trained. It refers to excellence achieved through long practice in any endeavor.  This meaning can be traced to classical writings and specially to Neo-Confucianism which emphasize the importance of effort in education.

Now back to my original question. If Divorce Was a Martial Art What Would It Be? It may be more of a range than a specific divorce process.

  JUDO is the  "gentle way" but is competitive element, where the object is to either throw or takedown one's opponent to the ground, immobilize or otherwise subdue one's opponent with a grappling maneuver, or force an opponent to submit by joint locking or by executing a strangle hold or choke.  This is clearly an adversary process but perhaps with more subtle force?

KARATE to me is not gentle and my vision is always of someone breaking something.  Not unlike a spouse throwing a lamp at the other spouse. Definitely very adversary.

JUJUTSU developed around the principle of using an attacker's energy against him, rather than directly opposing it. It is the martial art that made me start thinking about divorce.  Perhaps mediation.

TAEKWONDO combines combat techniques, self-defense, sport, exercise, and in some cases meditation and philosophy. Meditation and mediation are always confused in the Yellow Pages. 

KUNG FU refers to any study, learning, or practice that requires patience, energy, and time to complete. In its original meaning, kung fu can refer to any skill achieved through hard work and practice, not necessarily martial. Its connotation is that of an accomplishment arrived at by great effort of time and energy. Originally, to practice kung fu did not just mean to practice Chinese martial arts. Instead, it referred to the process of one's training - the strengthening of the body and the mind, the learning and the perfection of one's skills - rather than to what was being trained. It refers to excellence achieved through long practice in any endeavor.  Once again, I think mediation comes the closest.

It would appear if divorce was a martial art it would be mediation. 

This was not the conclusion I expected but the emphasis on meditation, philosophy, and self awareness makes it more akin to mediation.  Perhaps the Zen of Mediation where Zen (once again per Wikepedia) emphasizes the personal expression of experiential wisdom in the attainment of enlightenment and de-emphasizes adherence to standardized theoretical knowledge in favor of direct self-realization through meditation.

As always, you can post any comment about this blog or Divorce Mediation, or just Mediation by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website. Learn more about mediation at http://www.center-divorce-mediation.com/ WM(248) 3/16/12         

Out-Laws and In-Laws

An interesting divorce phenomenon is what happens when you like the spouse your sibling divorced more than the sibling’s new spouse. This may go beyond the ex-spouse to the ex-spouse’s relatives. I have come across this a few times but I never knew what to call it until last night when a person was introduced to me as my friend’s out-law. This is in contrast to being an in-law which is a person related by marriage. I guess you could also call the person an ex-law or former-law. Perhaps it would be more precise to say sister-out-law. I Goggled and came up with ironically a recent article in the Philipine Star at http://www.philstar.com/Article.aspx?articleId=778591&publicationSubCategoryId=85 . More often than not the reference is to an outlaw or criminal. I still like the term out-law. The relationship does create some sibling problems and certainly the new spouse is not overjoyed. This is especially the case when you like the first spouse more than the new spouse. However, I have actually seen a situation where the first wife and second wife get along and the mutual husband all get along.

I always like to include a picture with my blogs. I could not find an out-law or in-law picture I liked so I resorted to movie posters that were interesting. In this case three. First, I love Clint Eastwood so I picked The Outlaw Josey ‘Wa les. Second, I have always been fascinated by Howard Hughes and remember reading about the movie he made with Jane Russell, The Outlaw and finally why not the In-laws with Peter Falk and Alan Arkin.

 

As always, you can post any comment about this blog or Divorce Mediation, or just Mediation by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website. Learn more about mediation at http://www.center-divorce-mediation.com/ WM (247) 2/19/12

Divorce, Mediation and Broadcast Call Letters

As a child I noted with pride that my Father’s license plate was KLNW or WNLK backwards. My Father had come to Connecticut to work in radio advertising and first went to work at WNAB in Bridgeport and then to WNLK when it opened in Norwalk, Connecticut. He told the story how he first had WNLK but the owner wanted it and so he got WNLK backwards or KLNW. This all lead to my wanting my own license plate which has been ZWMZ since 1969 but also lead to an interest in broadcast call letters. I Goggled call letters and found a web site that listed most and what they mean. See it at http://nelson.oldradio.com/origins.call-list.html It included WNLK which is an abbreviation for NorwaLK. Of course I looked for ones dealing with mediation and divorce and found a few and a few others which were interesting or had a personal meaning. Remember that the first letter K is for stations west of the Mississippi and W for those east of the Mississippi. These include:


WDIV-TV,Detroit, MI for D)etroit IV = 4 (Channel 4) but could also be an abbreviation for DIVorce.


KID, Idaho Falls, ID for I)d)aho Falls, Idaho but also kids.


KIDO, Nampa, ID,for K)i)d)do), knickname for member of owner's family.


KFAM, St. Cloud, MN for F)red a)nd M)aude, the original owners but also abbreviation for FAMily.


KFAT, Gilroy, CA for all sorts of things based on 'FAT'


KBOM, Los Alamos, NM for BOM = bomb (birthplace of atomic bomb). Always wanted to visit but have been to the Trinity site.


KDRO, Sedalia, MO for D)r)o)lich Brothers in Divorce court DRO stands for Domestic Relations Officer.


KDOG, Mankato, MN for The D)o)g) Slogan: We've got a leg up. I like dogs and especially Golden Retrievers.


KFOG, San Francisco, CA for San Francisco: F)o)g) City.


KFRO, Longview, TX for K)eep F)orever R)olling O)n but also Family Relations Officer.


KFYI, Phoenix, AZ for F)or Y)our I)nformation.


KGET(TV), Bakersfield, CA for K)ern [County] G)olden E)mpire but also for the Jewish Divorce, a GET.


KIND, Independence, for I)n)d)ependence.


KOOL, Phoenix, AZ for KOOL = Cool Note: see KOLD, Tucson


KOLD-TV, Tucson, AZ for KOLD = Cold Note: see KOOL, Phoenix. Tucson is my home town!


KPIG, Freedom, CA for The P)i)g) at 107 oink 5 FM.


KUDO, Anchorage, AK for KUDOs for Anchorage.


WCOP, Boston, MA for C)o)p)ley Square Broadcasting Co. Also COP for policeman.


WCOW, Sparta, WI for COW - America's Dairyland


WCPA, Clearfield, PA for C)learfield, P)A) but also Certifed Public Accountant.


WHAM, Rochester, NY. Chosen by owner George Eastman because


they sounded nice


WHEN, Syracuse, NY. Easily remembered, single syllable word but also a question frequently asked in mediation.


WHIZ, Zanesville, OH for W)e're H)ere I)n Z)anesville


WHO, Des Moines, IA for Who is it? or W)ith H)ands O)nly but also a question frequently asked in mediation.


WINS, New York, NY for I)nternational N)ews S)ervice, Hearst Wire Service but also what everyone wants to do in a divorce.


WLIP, Kenosha, WI for William L)i)p)man, the founder and 40 ars-plus owner.


WMAM, Marinette, WI for M)arinette a)nd M)enominee but also one of my daughter’s initials or greeting for women.


WMGM¸New York, NY for M)etro-G)oldwyn-M)ayer but also my Wife’s initials.


WMMM, Westport, CT for W)estport's M)odern M)inute M)an Note: Reference to Minuteman Statue in area. (Further note that Statue was in a I Love Lucy show) Near towns we lived in Connecticut an my initials and my Wife’s initials.


Christian station


WOLF, Syracuse, NY for Memorable name and image for 'WOLF' but also my name in Hebrew and the name my parents almost gave me.


WOMN, Hamden, CT for W)om)an), now WQUN [was targeting women


WORK, York, PA for Yo)r)k), later WZIX and WOYK but also a favorite line by Maynard G. Grebbs in the Dobbie Gillis Show.


KSHE, St. Louis, MO. Originally featured a format targeted toward women


KSSN, Little Rock, AR for Kissin'.


WUPI, Peabody, MA for Whoopie as in Making Whoopie. Also I like Whoopie pies.


WVIP, Mt Kisco, NY for V)ery I)mportant P)lace (on your dial) for V)ery I)mportant P)eople


WWON, Waynesboro, TN for WON='one', W-ONE and Woonsocket, RI for L W)o)on)socket. What a person hopes to have done in a divorce.


WHUS, Storrs, Connecticut for Husky the University of Connecticut mascot. A double hit for me. I went to undergraduate and law school there and could be an abbreviation for HUSband.


I could not find any K or W ADR for Alternative Dispute Resolution, MED for Mediation or WIFE, IRA for Individual Retirement Account, ATY for attorney, DEF for defendant, PLT for plaintiff, WIFE, MOU FOR MEMBERANDUM OF UNDERSTANDING, TRO for Temporary Restraining Order, SSN FOR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER. See my blog on Divorce and Marriage Acronyms on January 20, 2011 at http://centerfordivorcemediation.blogspot.com/search?q=acronyms for more possibilities.


As always, you can post any comment about this blog or Divorce Mediation, or just Mediation by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website. Learn more about mediation at http://www.center-divorce-mediation.com/ WM (246) 2/8/12

Rube Goldberg Divorce

I have always been a fan of Rube Goldberg. You can learn more about him and see examples of his work at his official web site at http://www.rubegoldberg.com. According to Wikepedia, “Reuben Garrett Lucius Goldberg (July 4, 1883 – December 7, 1970) was an American cartoonist, sculptor, author, engineer and inventor. He is best known for a series of popular cartoons depicting complex gadgets that perform simple tasks in indirect, convoluted ways. These devices are now known as Rube Goldberg machines. Goldberg was only married once but one of his characters Boob McNutt married his true love Pearl, then divorced, then married again and divorced again. I don’t think Liz Taylor and Richard Burton did that! I cannot draw cartoons but I have tried to write a Rube Goldberg scenario for a divorce. It follows:

1. Man is watching movie Cleopatra on TV and thinks about Richard Burton and Liz Taylor getting divorce and his Wife walks into the room.

2. Man asks his Wife for a divorce, she faints and scares the cat.

3. The cat run away causing the dog to chase the cat. The cat lands on the CD player and starts the song Divorce my Tammy Wyatt.

4. The dog knocks over the telephone which hits the speed dial on the phone calling the Husband's attorney.

5. The Husband's attorney has caller id and hears Tammy Wynettte singing divorce and promptly prepares the divorce papers, gives the papers to the Sheriff to serve the Wife and bills the Husband.

6. The Sheriff services the Wife who faints again and drops the papers. A bird flys by picks up the papers and flys out the window.

7. The Wife's attorney happens to be sitting on a park bench near by and the bird drops the papers in his lap. The attorney goes back to his office and promptly files an answer, cross complaint, a dislcosure and production motion, schedules a deposition and sends a bill to the Wife.

8. The bills both arrive the same day and both the Husband and Wife faint and do nothing.

9. The court does not hear from either party and by mistake grants the divorce and notify both Husband and Wife

As always, you can post any comment about this blog or Divorce Mediation, or just Mediation by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website. Learn more about mediation at http://www.center-divorce-mediation.com/ WM (245) 2/1/12

Native American Mediation

Recently, I have been s tudying Native American Law. It is an interesting mixture of tribal law and custom, United States law, and United States policy toward Native American. Reading about Native American Law made me curious about Native American Mediation. I found a wonderful 2005 article on Mediation.com entitled Native American Wisdom: Lessons Learned from Mediation by Joe Epstein at http://www.mediate.com/articles/epstein2.cfm#. He starts out in his introduction by saying:

“Medidation is the intervention into a dispute or negotiation by an acceptable, impartial, and neutral third party who has no authoritative decision making process" When Christopher Moore wrote his seminal book The Mediation Process, mediation was still in it's infancy with regard to its utilization with litigated cases. As litigation has become more expensive, as parties have become adverse to the high transactional costs of litigation, as attorneys become better trained in mediation and negotiation, as attorneys and parties become more interactive in a less adversarial and confrontive life style, as under-financed courts are overwhelmed with criminal, juvenile and domestic relations cases, the demand for mediation of commercial disputes has skyrocketed. In fact, courts in many states are demanding that litigants participate in a mediation before they can come to court for a resolution of their dispute. For many disputants there is a sense that mediation must provide more than the all or nothing of litigation, that it should touch underlying issues and concern that run deeper than overt legal results. Parties want respect, dignity and an opportunity to be heard as well as a sense that the judicial system has treated them fairly from a financial perspective. Unless today's mediators are willing to mediate dangerously and take more spiritual and emotional risks, they will fall short as mediators.

Mediators who merely and meekly trade numbers from room to room no longer fill the bill for modern mediators. Paradoxically, ancient Native American traditions and values provide a portal for modern mediators to satisfy today's demand for a more meaningful, transformative, complete and satisfying mediation process.

Native American wisdom focuses on healing wounds, and bringing peace through good feelings, not fear. While mediations are focused principally on legal issues, Native American wisdom teaches us to be mindful of a person's emotional damage as well. Mediators should not only emphasize a need for a legal resolution, but also strive to heal broken relationships, and rebuild personal self-esteem and confidence. Addressing these non-monetary dimensions directly is what makes mediation a unique opportunity for both financial resolution and closure. A mediator can assist in addressing non monetary dimensions by using Native American wisdom. “

He presents twelve values inspired by Native American wisdom. The values are familiar but worth repeating.

1. LISTENING

2. RESPECT

3. GENEROSITY

4. HUMOR

5. COMPASSION

6. SILENCE

7. NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION

8. ATONEMENT

9. TRUST

10. HEALING

11. WISDOM

12. PEACEMAKER

He concludes by saying,

“In conclusion, we have found that intertwining Native American values with basic practice and principals of mediation aids in facilitating effective transformative and spiritual dispute resolution. The gifted mediators listen patiently for the deepest meanings of what is said verbally and communicated non-verbally. The mediator is listening for both overt and convert messages. He listens with respect and compassion. He risks self revelation just as he asks it of the parties. It is not only a mediator's generosity, humor, and silence, but also his style and empathetic connection with the parties which allow the mediator to gain the necessary trust. As he asks for trust, he must earn it. Then having earned it, he may assist the parties with atonement, with respect, compassion, empathy, sympathy and forgiveness. A risk taking mediator may even attempt to assist the parties with transformation, and he affords opportunities for healing. A mediator with true wisdom knows how to set a foundation during a mediation, which allows participants to heal their wounds. Mediators who fail to address underlying issues and needs sell their clients short and cannot earn the title of the "Peacemaker" or the accolade of being considered a "Gifted One."

Modern mediators must be prepared to take risks to help the parties come to a complete closure and they must recognize that in some instances at least, this may require "risking" heartfelt and spiritual connection. By using these core values inspired by Native American wisdom in their practice, mediators may become "Peacemakers" and may be honored as a "Gifted One."”

As always, you can post any comment about this blog or Divorce Mediation, or just Mediation by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website. Learn more about mediation at http://www.center-divorce-mediation.com/ WM (243) 1/17/12

Dinosaurs Divorce

Once again, I am surprised I have not blogged on this before. I have heard about the book Dinosaurs Divorce A Guide for Changing Families by Laurie Krasny Brown and Marc Brown for years but have never taken the time to read it. I am planning to do a Divorce TV show on Divorce and Children’s Books so I finally decided to read the book. It is great. It includes topic that are understandable to young children which include Divorce Words and What They Mean, Why Parents Divorce, What About You, After the Divorce, Living with One Parent, Visiting Your Parent, Having Two Homes, Celebrating Holidays and Special Occasions, Telling Your Friends, Meeting Parent’s New Friends, Living with Stepparents, and Having Stepsisters and Stepbrothers. In particular, I like advice that “Divorces takes place between mothers and fathers. You are not to blame if you parents get divorced.” I was pleased that I give much of the same advice to couples who see me.

As always, you can post any comment about this blog or Divorce Mediation, or just Mediation by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website. Learn more about mediation at http://www.center-divorce-mediation.com/ WM (242) 1/9/12