New Arizona Child Support Guidelines

There was a very good article about Arizona’s new Child Support Guidelines in the June 10, 2010 issue of the DesertLeaf by Annie Rolfe. See entire article at http://npaper-wehaa.com/desert-leaf#2010/05/27/?article=888661. She says, that “The Arizona Child Support Guidelines were up for review in 2009. At the outset of the review, the Guidelines Review Committee (GRC) recognized that the existing model, known as the Income Shares model, failed to adequately address situations in which one parent earned significantly more than the other. As such, the GRC sought to revamp the system. The GRC’s proposal is called the Child-Outcome Based Support model, or COBS. Under the new proposal, child support for parents with equal or near equal incomes will not dramatically change and, in lower-income cases, may be slightly reduced. The COBS model is designed to have the greatest effect in cases of unequal incomes. For example, when the custodial parent earns $2,000 per month, the non-custodial parent earns $4,000 per month, and there is one child, the non-custodial parent’s child support may increase by $161 per month.” There are not automatic modifications so divorced couples may want to review their child support orders. This can easily be done with mediation.
As always, you can post any comment about this blog or Divorce Mediation, or just Mediation by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website. Learn more about mediation at http://www.center-divorce-mediation.com/ WM(181) 7/17/10

Dementia and Divorce

I have recently thought about divorce and dementia. Liz Pulliam Weston has written an interesting article for MSN discussing it. See the entire article at
http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/CollegeAndFamily/CaringForParents/ShouldGrandmaDivorceGrandpa.aspx. She says, “The population of divorced people over 65 has exploded in the past 15 years, and elder-law attorneys suspect money is at least partly to blame. The idea that money might be a factor in divorce isn't news. But instead of fighting over their money, these attorneys say, older people who divorce might be trying to preserve it. Christine Crawford of Aurora, Ohio, started divorce proceedings after her husband's care for dementia consumed more than $100,000 of their savings. Crawford said she didn't want to divorce her husband, with whom she'd raised three children, but it was the only way to preserve what was left of their life savings.” The couple divorces and puts all their assets in the well person’s name and the sick spouse can then qualify for Medicaid benefits.
I have not seen any divorces caused by dementia. An internet search shows some but most are second marriages or shorter marriages. Couples who are married longer seem to be more willing to care for a sick spouse. This is encouraging.
As always, you can post any comment about this blog or Divorce Mediation, or just Mediation by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website. Learn more about mediation at http://www.center-divorce-mediation.com/ WM(180) 7/10/10

Wedding Crashers and Mediation

Not sure why I have not blogged on this before. I have mentioned the movie Wedding Crasher in a blogs about Obama and McCain and in the list of divorce movies but I have never discussed separately. You can see the clip of the initial mediation scene in the movie on YouTube at http://youtu.be/C85tJflYb4s The scene is one of the few of a mediation session in a movie and is very funny but not too accurate. I used the clip once in a presentation before the Connecticut Council for Divorce Mediation on humor in divorce and mediation. I did not realize that there were two versions of the movie. One with a little more colorful language. I used the one with more colorful language and some people were caught a off guard. Mediation needs to be popularized more in the media for people to become more aware of it as an alternative. I am not sure if this clip helped but it certainly made the term divorce mediation more known. I don't usually do mediation with the attorneys present and I was not surprised when the attorney said the mediation was a bad idea. The parties were fighting a lot. I usually let parties vent but not go on that long. I liked the intervention the Owen Wilson used to stop the fighting. I love it when the Husband says to the mediators could you not just talk any more. I wonder if any of my clients have ever felt that way.
As always, you can post any comment about this blog or Divorce Mediation, or just Mediation by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website. Learn more about mediation at http://www.center-divorce-mediation.com/ WM(179) 7/3/10

LA Law and Divorce

LA Law is one of my favorite legal shows. (Right after Perry Mason) My favorite episode was season 7, episode 18 which was aired on April 22, 1993, entitled "Come Rain or Come Schein." In the show, Becker represents Mitchell Schein, a greedy man who holds out for material concessions before agreeing to grant his wife a divorce following Jewish law (A get. See my March 10, 2008 blog, Religious Divorce and Annulment). As you may know, according to Jewish law only the husband can agree to a divorce. Women want this for many reasons, including the ability to have another Jewish marriage. In the episode, it has been a very rainy period in Los Angeles and there have been numerous mad slides. The show concludes with a split screen where you see the Husband agreeing to the Jewish divorce as the marital home his wife just agreed to give him in order for him to agree to the Jewish divorce is sliding down the hill as a result of the rain. I often relate this story to clients to remind them, not to be too greedy.
As always, you can post any comment about this blog or Divorce Mediation, or just Mediation by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website. Learn more about mediation at http://www.center-divorce-mediation.com/ WM(178) 6/26/10

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End of NY Fault Divorce Near?

I have been following with interest the attempt to eliminate fault divorce in New York and stop the subterfuge in obtaining a divorce. As I discussed in my May 20, 2010 blog Divorce Japan Style, I worked for legal services one summer and watched what fault divorce was like in Connecticut prior to no fault. There have been a few articles about what is happening in New York in the New York Times. See article and editorials at

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/19/opinion/19sat4.html, http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/17/nyregion/17divorce.html, and

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/17/opinion/17coontz.html. No fault divorce always made sense to me but it is only the first step. I am glad to see New York is also considering alimony guide lines and more use of mediation. We now need to work for true no fault divorce where attorneys do not charge exorbitant fees and play to their client’s anger, children are not hurt, and couples can get on with their lives.

As always, you can post any comment about this blog or Divorce Mediation, or just Mediation by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website. Learn more about mediation at http://www.center-divorce-mediation.com/ WM(177) 6/19/10

Divorce Japan Style - the Splitter-Uppers

I have always been a firm believer in no fault divorce. I always remember when I was a law student and had a summer job working for legal services. I was in court helping an attorney with a divorce. Connecticut then did not have any fault divorce and you had to show physical manifestation of intolerable cruelty. It was not unusual for a person to say they could not sleep or were putting on weight or were losing weight. A woman why must have weighed 400 pounds gets on the stand and testifies how she is losing weight because of her husband’s intolerable cruelty. The judge listens to what she says and then leans close to her and says, “You should stay married a little longer.” Fault divorce causes all sorts of mischief. A May 10, 2010 article in TimesOnline by Richard Lloyd Parry, entitled, “Sex, lies and splitting up Want to dump a troublesome husband, or unsuitable boyfriend? Just call Osamu Tomiya and his team of splitter-uppers, but you’ll have to move to Japan,” reminded me of the problems with fault divorce. See the entire article at

http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/relationships/article7119999.ece
The article says, “The whole thing was masterminded by Mr “Ota” — real name Osamu Tomiya — a member of a peculiarly Japanese profession, part-private investigator, part-prostitute, known as wakaresase-ya — the “splitter-uppers”.
The function of the wakaresase-ya is the direct opposite of a dating agency: with great ingenuity, and the right fee, they will pry apart human relationships. Do you have a troublesome ex-boyfriend who won’t leave you alone? A beloved son who is getting engaged to an unsuitable girl? A dead-loss employee who refuses to take the hint and retire? All of these difficult situations can be resolved by the splitter-uppers.
Also see follow up article in http://www.divorcesaloon.com/japan-professional-marriage-splitter-upper-takeshi-kuwabara-gets-17-years-for-strangling-lover-rie-isohata in Divorce Saloon which says, “Japan, apparently, is a “fault” jurisdiction which means in order to get out of a marriage, folks have to prove grounds. The reason I surmise this to be so is that there seems to be a custom in Japan where married folks hire wakaresaseyas (in English, “marriage splitter uppers”) to seduce their unsuspecting spouses so that these folks can have grounds for the divorce.”
This is all compounded by each state having its own divorce laws and standards which causes some forum shopping.
This is another reason I like mediation. These kinds of problems rarely come up in a mediated divorce.
As always, you can post any comment about this blog or Divorce Mediation, or just Mediation by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website. Learn more about mediation at http://www.center-divorce-mediation.com/ WM(176) 5/20/10

I thought it would be fun to use the Word translation program and do this blog in Japanese too.

私は常に固く障害離婚されていません。 私は常に私の法律の学生だったし、法的サービスの使用は夏の仕事をしていた覚えています。 私は裁判所の弁護士は離婚を支援していた。 コネチカット [任意フォールト離婚はありませんでしたと耐えられない虐待の物理的な症状を表示する必要があります。 寝ることがない、または重量をかけていたまたは重量を失っていたと言う人は珍しいことではなかった。 なぜ 400 ポンドを検討している必要がありますにスタンドを取得し、どのように彼女は夫の耐えられない虐待のため重量を失いつつある証言している女性。 裁判官彼女の言い分をリッスンして [彼女の近くに傾いていると言う"をもう少し結婚して滞在する必要があります。 フォールト離婚は、あらゆる種類のいたずらが発生します。 2010 年 5 月 10 日の記事で TimesOnline でリチャード ・ ロイドと題して、パリー、「性別、嘘と、面倒な夫、または不適切なボーイ フレンドをダンプするかを分割するか？ ちょうど修富谷と彼のチームの分割-甲、呼び出しが日本には、移動する必要があります」障害離婚の問題私を思い出した。 資料によると、http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/relationships/article7119999.ece ですべての記事を参照してください"全体物氏「太田」で masterminded いた — 本物修富谷を名前 —、peculiarly 日本職業一部と民間調査官、一部-売春婦、のメンバー wakaresase として知られている-屋 —、「分割-甲」. wakaresase の機能-屋は出会い系の会社の正反対です: 偉大な工夫と右の手数料を彼ら以外の人間関係が外してされます。 面倒な元 - 人は、そのままはありません彼氏ですか？ 人、不適切な女の子に行ってきです、最愛の息子ですか？ ヒントを取るし、引退することを拒否、死者損失従業員ですか？ これらすべての困難な状況は、スプリッター甲で解決できます。 参考資料に離婚は、「日本はどうやらアウト結婚を取得するには、「障害」の管轄権は、人々 がある根拠を証明する。 サロンで http://www.divorcesaloon.com/japan-professional-marriage-splitter-upper-takeshi-kuwabara-gets-17-years-for-strangling-lover-rie-isohata を実行します 私はこの推測のでこと、カスタムどこ結婚されていた人々 の wakaresaseyas (英語、「結婚スプリッター甲は") でこれらの人々 離婚根拠があるできるように彼ら疑いを持たない配偶者を誘惑する雇う日本であるようです。」 これすべてフォーラム買い物が独自の離婚の法律と基準を持つ各状態が悪化します。 これは調停が好きの理由です。 このような問題はほとんど仲介離婚に来る。 いつものように、右にある [緑] 列またはこのウェブサイトの下部の指示に従うによってこのブログや離婚調停、またはちょうど仲介に関する任意のコメントを投稿できます。 http://www.center-divorce-mediation.com/WM(176) で調停について 5/20/10

DNA of Divorce

There is often a convergence of discoveries that change the world. For thousands of years man wanted to fly and yet in the space of a few years, a few people built planes that flew. The same thing is true with the atomic bomb, the telegraph, the telephone, and many other inventions and discoveries. There usually is some underlying discovery which is the catalyst or there is a synergy when someone puts together to independent ideas. This is the concept of multiple discovery which states that most scientific discoveries and inventions are made independently and more or less simultaneously by multiple scientists and inventors. See also article in May 13, 2010 New Yorker entitled In the Air Who Says Big Ideas are Rare? by Malcolm Gladwell at http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2008/05/12/080512fa_fact_gladwell.
I thought about this when I read the article in the May 11, 2010 New York Times by Tara Parker-Pope entitled "The Science of a Happy Marriage" and watched on NBC Night News and read in the paper about obtaining your own personal genetic history. NBC indicated that Walgreens was planning to sell the Pathway Genomic home test kit under the brand Insight. (Walgreens put a hold on the next day until they could get clearance from the FDA). According to Pam Stephan, "The Pathway Genomics Insight kit, marketed to "Discover Your DNA." is simple to use - just swab the inside of your cheek, slip the sample in a vial, and mail it away. Pathway Genomics will check your genetic risk for more than 26 diseases and conditions, and send you a report online." Tar Parker-Pope says that "recent studies have raised questions about whether genetic factors may influence commitment and marital stability. See full article at
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/05/10/tracking-the-science-of-commitment.
If you combine these two ideas, something startling happens. With a swab of a Q-tip, you soon will be able to determine if a potential spouse has the genetic factor which will influence marital stability. Do people want to know if they are at risk to get a disease? Will they want to know the risk of marital stability? Is this our Brave New World? Only time will tell.
As always, you can post any comment about this blog or Divorce Mediation, or just Mediation by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website. Learn more about mediation at http://www.center-divorce-mediation.com/ WM(175) 5/13/10