Uber, Divorce, and Mediation

We were reluctant to try Uber but on a recent trip to Capetown, South Africa we decided to try it out.  We were impressed on it speed, convenience and low cost.  It made me wonder if the Uber concept could be applied to Divorce and Mediation.  Imagine a couple wants to get divorced.   They go to their smart phone and the closest mediator or divorce attorney is sent to them in minutes. He or she brings all the necessary forms, gets them completed, files the documents with the Court, and charges the couple’s credit card!  Perhaps farfetched but so was Uber a few years ago.

As always, you can post any comment about this blog or Divorce Mediation, or just Mediation by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website. Learn more about mediation at http://www.center-divorce-mediation.com/ CDM (306) 4/15/16

Pivot Circles and Mediation

 

Often when I am flying I look out the window and see a big green circle.  I wonder if it was one of those ancient mysterious sites that only reveal themselves from a birds-eye-view. See picture above. See http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2568355/The-strange-signs-Google-Earth-Enormous-logos-bizarre-figures-seen-captured-firm.html

When driving through farm land I often see large long objects with wheels. See picture above.  I never connected the two until recently listening to an NPR show about pivot irrigation.  According to Wikipedia Center-pivot irrigation (sometimes called central pivot irrigation), also called waterwheel and circle irrigation, is a method of crop irrigation in which equipment rotates around a pivot and crops are watered with sprinklers. A circular area centered on the pivot is irrigated, often creating a circular pattern in crops when viewed from above (sometimes referred to as crop circles).

The connection to mediation?  Sometimes you have to connect the dots. Two unrelated events or things will make sense when put together. This often happens in mediation. This is the reverse of the classic story of the orange. Discussed in “Getting to Yes” by Roger Fisher and William Ury.

As always, you can post any comment about this blog or Divorce Mediation, or just Mediation by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website. Learn more about mediation at http://www.center-divorce-mediation.com/ CDM (305) 4/1/16

The Means, the End, Mediation, and Adversary Divorce

We often hear people say the ends justify the means. I have always the thought the means are the end.  I thought this was original with me but I should have known better.  I Googled both and learned a lot.  Wikipedia says, “Consequentialism is a theory holding that the consequences of one's conduct are the ultimate basis for any judgment about the rightness or wrongness of that conduct. Thus, from a consequentialist standpoint, a morally right act (or omission from acting) is one that will produce a good outcome, or consequence. In an extreme form, the idea of consequentialism is commonly encapsulated in the English saying, "the end justifies the means", meaning that if a goal is morally important enough, any method of achieving it is acceptable.

Wikipedia goes on to say, “Consequentialism is usually contrasted with deontology Deontology is the normative ethical position that judges the morality of an action based on the action's adherence to a rule or rules.

The ends justify the means is advocated by Niccolo Machiavelli. Also the Greek playwright Sophocles “The end excuses any evil” and the Roman poet Ovid wrote “The result justifies the deed.”

But what about my “the means are the end?”  John Dewey said, “the ends only justify the means only when the means used are such as actually bring about the desired and desirable end.”  Scott Stroud in “John Dewey and the Artful Life: Pragmatism, Aesthetics, and Morality,” says “means are the end to be effected.”

This takes us back to mediation and adversary divorce.  I believe more often than not in mediations the means are the end while in adversary divorce the means justify the end.

As always, you can post any comment about this blog or Divorce Mediation, or just Mediation by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website. Learn more about mediation at http://www.center-divorce-mediation.com/ CDM (304) 3/15/16

No Turn on Red and Mediation

 

 

    Most days I drive past an intersection where there is no turn on a red light.  The intersection must have at least six signs with some in bright lights indicating no turn on red.  The no turn on red light is often found on busy roads with high traffic volume, where right turn on red could cause an accident.  What amazes me is how often I see a car in front of me ignore the signs and make a right turn.  I am not sure if driver did not see the sign or just think the law does not apply to him or her.  The opposite of this is the scene in the 2001 movie “The Mexican” with Brad Pitt, Julia Roberts and I had forgotten James Gandolfini.  Brad Pitt is driving an El Camino Mexico and stops at a red light in the middle of nowhere with absolutely no traffic in sight.  The life lesson that applies to mediation is that some people follow the law even if it makes no sense and other people think the law does not apply to them.    As always, you can post any comment about this blog or Divorce Mediation, or just Mediation by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website. Learn more about mediation at http://www.center-divorce-mediation.com/ CDM (304) 3/1/16

Two Yellow Cars and Mediation

 

I was driving north on Oracle the other day and stopped at a traffic light.  Much to my surprise there were two yellow cars that were not taxi cabs in front of me.  One rarely sees one yellow car but I have never seen two yellow cars that are not taxi cabs at the same time. I have no idea what the odds are or even how to calculate the odds!  I always try to relate everything to mediation.  What does the sighting of two yellow cars tell us? No matter what the odds, something can occur.  In mediation, always suggest something and sometimes you will be surprised by what happens.
As always, you can post any comment about this blog or Divorce Mediation, or just Mediation by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website. Learn more about mediation at http://www.center-divorce-mediation.com/ CDM (303) 2/15/16

Portmanteau, Divorce, and Mediation

I was reading the New York Times recently and saw the word, “portmanteau.”  I was not familiar with the work and looked it up on my trusty iPhone.  First definition was “a large trunk or suitcase, typically made of stiff leather and opening into two equal parts.”  The definition did not make sense and I read further.  “Consisting of or combining two or more separable aspects or qualities.” That was closer.  Next, “a linguistic blend of words or their sounds and their meanings are combined into a new word.”  Examples are smog for smoke and fog or spork for spoon and fork.  The list is endless.  The only legal term which comes to mind is “palimony” from pal and alimony.  The term was made famous in the Lee Marvin case.  It was coined by celebrity divorce attorney Marvin Mitchelson in 1977 when his client Michelle Triola Marvin filed an unsuccessful suit against the actor Lee Marvin.  Michelle Triola sought support from Lee Marvin even though they had not married.   She lost.  I am not aware of any other divorce or mediation portmanteau words but can create some.  Diviation for divorce mediation. Not sure we want this one.  Advesorce for adversary divorce. Chort for child support.  Collaborce for collaborative divorce. Aldilution for alternative dispute resolution.  Don’t think any of these will catch on!

As always, you can post any comment about this blog or Divorce Mediation, or just Mediation by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website. Learn more about mediation at http://www.center-divorce-mediation.com/ CDM (302) 2/1/16

How Does a Mediator Work?

 

I love my iPhone.  I use it for everything including listening to podcasts.  One of the podcasts I listen to is Working.  Slate interviews Americans with interesting jobs.   I was pleasantly surprised when a recent podcast was “How Does a Mediator Work.”  It was an interview with Elizabeth Clemants who is not only a New York mediator but a shaman.  Interesting combination of roles.  I must admit I was a little suspicious but the podcast was very interesting. Did not agree with all Ms. Clemants said but she said many things I could relate to.  You can hear the podcast at https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/slates-working/id930665651?mt=2

As always, you can post any comment about this blog or Divorce Mediation, or just Mediation by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website. Learn more about mediation at http://www.center-divorce-mediation.com/ CDM (301) 1/15/16

300th Mediation Blog

 

This is our 300^th blog.  Only 299 because we deleted one.  It is hard to believe we have been actively doing blogs since January 1, 2008.  As of the writing of this blog we have had 29,819 page views.  The most page viewed are Divorce Proverbs and Aphorisms with 1735, Divorce and Marriage Acronyms with 947, Best and Worst States for Getting Divorced with 449, Dementia and Divorce with 375, Humor in Mediation and Divorce with 346, Best Divorce Mediators with 340, Divorce Haiku with 296, New Arizona Child Support Guidelines with 261, Three Little Pigs Go to Mediation with 219, and If Things Fall Apart, Who Gets the Ring? with 211.  Top countries represented by page views are United States with 15072, France with 1420, Russia with 1375, Germany with 1227, United Kingdom with 660, Ukraine with 569, Canada with 497, Poland with 368, India with 334, and China with 319.  Pattern of most viewed pages seems to be people looking for information specific divorce issues or looking for humor or wisdom.  I have no idea why there are so many views from countries other than the United States and in particular former Communist countries.  Perhaps there are people in these countries contemplating marrying United States citizens and then getting divorced.

As always, you can post any comment about this blog or Divorce Mediation, or just Mediation by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website. Learn more about mediation at http://www.center-divorce-mediation.com/ CDM (300) 1/1/16