Group Mediation

I have always wanted to experiment with group mediation but never have had an opportunity. There are two forms of group mediation.

An article on the internet at http://www.edr.state.va.us/docsnforms/med/Med-C.doc says, “Traditional group mediation is a voluntary process in which trained mediators assist members of a work group in an open and confidential forum to: (1) identify and discuss the issues that are affecting the group; (2) explore alternatives that may resolve the issues; and (3) reach agreement on the alternatives that would best resolve the issues. The mediators meet with the work group, explain the process and answer questions, interview each group member privately to obtain his or her perspective of the situation, identify and list issues from the information shared during the interviews and present the list to the group for approval; the group may add or delete issues, ask the group to prioritize the issues and decide the order of discussion by the group, facilitate the discussion of the issues, establish with the group a schedule of two or three meetings, 3-4 hours each, to discuss the issues, help the parties define the issues involved
• encourage and assist the parties to have open and honest communication
• do not make judgments on who is right or wrong
• do not make decisions or impose solutions

The parties:
• are voluntary participants who want to discuss and resolve the issues
• must be willing to talk openly and honestly about their concerns and issues
• must be willing to generate alternatives to resolve the issues”

I would like to experiment with a different type of group divorce mediation. It would be more like group therapy. I would meet with a few divorcing couples and try to mediate all the divorces at once. It would save the couples money. I am not sure if it would make problem solving easier or harder. Probably both. So far it has the logistics or getting couples and have them meet has prevented me from trying. Perhaps, one day it will all come together.

As always, you can post any comment about this blog or Divorce Mediation, or just Mediation by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website. Learn more about mediation at http://www.center-divorce-mediation.com/ WM(183) 7/31/10

Mediation Styles

People often just think mediation but there actually are different types of mediation styles. The three basic types of mediation are facilitative, tranformative, and evaluative. In jest a colleague recently suggested a fourth type – accusatory! I will discuss a potential fourth type, group mediation, in a future blog. All types of mediation require the mediator to be neutral, the process to be confidential, and self determination for the parties. The role of the mediator is different in each type.

Facilitative mediation is based on the belief that, with neutral assistance, people can work through and resolve their own conflicts. In a facilitative mediation, the mediator will take an active role in controlling the "process." Process means things like setting the ground rules for how the problem will be solved. The mediator asks questions to identify the interests of the parties and the real issues in the disagreement. The mediator helps the parties explore solutions that benefit both parties (sometimes called "win/win" solutions). In a facilitative mediation, the mediator does not offer an opinion on the strengths and weaknesses of the parties' cases. The mediator does not suggest solutions.

Evaluative mediation is based on the belief that mediators with expertise in the issues in conflict can help the parties to assess the strengths and weaknesses of their legal or other positions and to work to achieve settlements. In evaluative mediation, the mediator controls the process and suggests solutions for resolving the conflict. The focus of an evaluative mediation is primarily upon settlement. The mediators will make their best efforts to get the parties to compromise, if necessary, to achieve a result. This is the type of mediation most attorneys and former judges use. It is like a court required status conference or a meeting with a special master. I believe this is what Ken Feinberg does. It often becomes what is called power or muscle mediation and a settlement is imposed.

Transformative mediation is based on the belief that conflict tends to make parties feel weak and self-absorbed. Transformatative mediators try to change the nature of the parties' conflict interaction by helping them appreciate each others viewpoints and strengthening their ability to handle conflict in a productive manner. The mediator will intervene in the conversation between the parties in order to call attention to moments of recognition and empowerment. Ground rules for the mediation are set only if the parties set them. The mediator does not direct the parties to topics or issues. Instead, the mediator follows the parties’ conversation and assist them to talk about what they think is important. The transformative mediator does not offer an opinion on the strengths or weaknesses of the parties’ cases. The mediator does not suggest solutions.”
Some mediators prefer to use one approach exclusively in their mediation sessions. Many mediators can, and do, use many approaches. I often start with facilitative but slip into evaluative when I hit an impasse. I probably am always doing a little transformative mediation. Clients don’t usually do it but it is a good idea to ask your mediator which style he or she uses.

As always, you can post any comment about this blog or Divorce Mediation, or just Mediation by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website. Learn more about mediation at http://www.center-divorce-mediation.com/ WM(182) 7/24/10

New Arizona Child Support Guidelines

There was a very good article about Arizona’s new Child Support Guidelines in the June 10, 2010 issue of the DesertLeaf by Annie Rolfe. See entire article at http://npaper-wehaa.com/desert-leaf#2010/05/27/?article=888661. She says, that “The Arizona Child Support Guidelines were up for review in 2009. At the outset of the review, the Guidelines Review Committee (GRC) recognized that the existing model, known as the Income Shares model, failed to adequately address situations in which one parent earned significantly more than the other. As such, the GRC sought to revamp the system. The GRC’s proposal is called the Child-Outcome Based Support model, or COBS. Under the new proposal, child support for parents with equal or near equal incomes will not dramatically change and, in lower-income cases, may be slightly reduced. The COBS model is designed to have the greatest effect in cases of unequal incomes. For example, when the custodial parent earns $2,000 per month, the non-custodial parent earns $4,000 per month, and there is one child, the non-custodial parent’s child support may increase by $161 per month.” There are not automatic modifications so divorced couples may want to review their child support orders. This can easily be done with mediation.
As always, you can post any comment about this blog or Divorce Mediation, or just Mediation by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website. Learn more about mediation at http://www.center-divorce-mediation.com/ WM(181) 7/17/10

Dementia and Divorce

I have recently thought about divorce and dementia. Liz Pulliam Weston has written an interesting article for MSN discussing it. See the entire article at
http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/CollegeAndFamily/CaringForParents/ShouldGrandmaDivorceGrandpa.aspx. She says, “The population of divorced people over 65 has exploded in the past 15 years, and elder-law attorneys suspect money is at least partly to blame. The idea that money might be a factor in divorce isn't news. But instead of fighting over their money, these attorneys say, older people who divorce might be trying to preserve it. Christine Crawford of Aurora, Ohio, started divorce proceedings after her husband's care for dementia consumed more than $100,000 of their savings. Crawford said she didn't want to divorce her husband, with whom she'd raised three children, but it was the only way to preserve what was left of their life savings.” The couple divorces and puts all their assets in the well person’s name and the sick spouse can then qualify for Medicaid benefits.
I have not seen any divorces caused by dementia. An internet search shows some but most are second marriages or shorter marriages. Couples who are married longer seem to be more willing to care for a sick spouse. This is encouraging.
As always, you can post any comment about this blog or Divorce Mediation, or just Mediation by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website. Learn more about mediation at http://www.center-divorce-mediation.com/ WM(180) 7/10/10

Wedding Crashers and Mediation

Not sure why I have not blogged on this before. I have mentioned the movie Wedding Crasher in a blogs about Obama and McCain and in the list of divorce movies but I have never discussed separately. You can see the clip of the initial mediation scene in the movie on YouTube at http://youtu.be/C85tJflYb4s The scene is one of the few of a mediation session in a movie and is very funny but not too accurate. I used the clip once in a presentation before the Connecticut Council for Divorce Mediation on humor in divorce and mediation. I did not realize that there were two versions of the movie. One with a little more colorful language. I used the one with more colorful language and some people were caught a off guard. Mediation needs to be popularized more in the media for people to become more aware of it as an alternative. I am not sure if this clip helped but it certainly made the term divorce mediation more known. I don't usually do mediation with the attorneys present and I was not surprised when the attorney said the mediation was a bad idea. The parties were fighting a lot. I usually let parties vent but not go on that long. I liked the intervention the Owen Wilson used to stop the fighting. I love it when the Husband says to the mediators could you not just talk any more. I wonder if any of my clients have ever felt that way.
As always, you can post any comment about this blog or Divorce Mediation, or just Mediation by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website. Learn more about mediation at http://www.center-divorce-mediation.com/ WM(179) 7/3/10